The Art of Sabotage

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We work to achieve a dream-perfect future at the expense of our present. We struggle, we falter, and we lose who we are to each other. Perfection is what is most important. Love is not nurtured; love is assumed and it is implicit that it will get us through anything. Until it doesn’t.

And then you leave.

*

You say all the right things. I am the epicenter of your universe and we balance on a fault line of passion. But your lies fester and infect. You can no longer pretend to be someone you think I want. We are cracking, crumbling, reduced to a charred and barren love. Complete annihilation, like we never existed in this world together.

And then you leave.

*

Sleepy inhale, limbs stretch to connect skin. Breath bitter with wine, sweet with feeling. It’s too early to let the doubts cloud the soft sunshine filtering through remnants of dreams. Lips have opened to tease kisses and have not allowed lies to whisper past. If we meld I can forget past hurts.

*

I wait for the disappointment. I scour for inconsistencies. I intrude and say hateful things for your reaction. I listen to what is said but more importantly for what is not. I’m giving you a chance to leave. Because you will. No matter how much I love you, no matter how much of myself I give to you, you will leave.

*

Must I hear the truth in words screamed, in raging actions, in the absence of kindness in order to believe? In the serene shell of your silence I hear I am not the one for you. I am the segue to your true destiny. I am here to help you forget the one you really loved. I’m a holding place so you don’t spiral completely down. I remind you life can be good again.

And then you leave.

-xo 3T


7 thoughts on “The Art of Sabotage

    1. Yes, it’s a continuous learning experience this crazy life. Now I treat my partner as I want him to treat me. If it isn’t good enough, well then he isn’t meant for me.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. So people don’t learn, though, and continue to make the same mistakes, and draw the same kind of people to them over and over. But you are right, treat people the way you want to be treated.You get back what you dish out – What goes around comes around. That is a pretty rigid concept, but it’s a true one.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m on my 3rd marriage. We’ve been together now for 15 years. It works because of what I learned through the other 2. I learned to not try to change him. I don’t criticize. So we enjoy each others company. My mom thinks he’s an odd duck, but he is my odd duck and I know how much he loves me. It took me a long time to learn how to treat people if I wanted them to want to be around me.

    Liked by 1 person

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