When the Voices Echo

When alcohol doesn’t drown it,
When blood doesn’t fill it in,
There is more space for echoes,
And wondering what more I’ll pay for my sin.
In the empty the doubts crowd in, voices clamoring to be the loudest of the group, some yelling, others whispering, each one just as frightening. My pieces are still being put back together but the edges no longer match up, nothing fits right. The whispers of broken, so broken no one wants you, the booming timbre OF COURSE THEY DON’T WANT YOU, YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Two different voices in each ear, we are not with you because you are not worthy. This woman is better than you are, I choose her over you again and again. The proof a glaring spotlight; each married with babies on the way. The proof is I am the one alone. The truth is I deserve this because I did not value my life. My sick mind wants me to slice out the hurt and like an addict I try to convince myself it won’t matter, no one will see it anyway, I’ll be the only one who knows, eventually it will just be another scar, I won’t do it again after just this once. Crazy glue smeared to hold the pieces that don’t fit together anymore.

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