How Do You Keep Breathing?

Interesting article on what happens if you survive your suicide attempt.

http://www.upworthy.com/what-happens-if-you-try-to-kill-yourself-and-survive?c=ufb1

My residual effects are mere discomforts. Can’t take anything with acetaminophen, if I do I get to feel like my liver and kidneys are swollen and on fire. Effexor, which I have declared the devil in pill-form, gave me lovely pulsing/flashing lights in my peripheral vision, floaters, and twitchy, shaky muscles…for two damn years. I get to explain to the few men who stick around for a relationship what the scars on my arms, hips and thighs are all about. I get to say witty (well I think it’s witty, snarky perhaps is more accurate) anecdotes of my swashbuckling days, or how I fought sharks for a documentary, to anyone rude enough to flat-out ask me. I’m open to suggestions.

Nothing beats that feeling of, Holy Hell, I cannot even kill myself correctly. That sinking, dismal, disconnected shroud as you come-to. Now what?

Lots of therapy and a shit-ton of pills later – and I am cured! Haha. You find what works for you to stay alive. What works now may not work a year from now and I’ll need to readjust my treatment. It’s a disease I have to manage for the rest of what is left of my life. I still have some pretty cool things to do while on this earth, so I’ll stick around for a while to experience it.

What works for you to keep breathing? I’d love for you to share.

-xo 3T.

 


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